It’s November. And while I would cringe if I heard “All I Want for Christmas is You” in a store right now (actually, I cringe every time I hear that song), I do think this is an excellent time to lay the groundwork for an enjoyable holiday season. Since the holidays can sometimes feel like 10 months’ worth of issues are being condensed into the space of 3 weeks, why not learn to swim now, before you jump into the very cold pool?
There’s a few approaches you can take to learn to “stay afloat” during the holiday season. One method is the self-guided approach, and that’s what this page is for, but you may also want to consider coaching.
Also, while outside resources, like the links below, can be helpful, don’t neglect tapping into your past successes and your strengths (like introspection).
Here are a few issues that may surface during the holidays:
Family members who don’t understand introversion.
You can see my blog post about this subject here: https://introvertology.com/talking-to-family-members-about-introversion/
Vaguely related, but perhaps still helpful, is this article is about pushy parents-in-law.
Optional holiday parties.
Can you create a quota on how many parties to go to each week? How can you say no politely to the parties you decline? By helping your friends understand your introversion now, they will probably be more understanding if you choose to decline a party invitation during the holidays. And by coming up with ways to politely but confidently decline invitations now, you won’t be left struggling to say the right thing while your friend is standing in front of you, waiting for an answer. If you do accept your friend’s invitation, it will help you to know your energy limits and which activities make you feel refreshed.
If you decide to decline, I am a believer in not lying and being honest. You can read about why here.
Non-optional holiday parties.
Knowing your energy limits and energy revivers (activities that give you more energy) is important when it comes to mandatory holiday parties. If two meetings in one day leaves you feeling like a zombie then see if you can avoid booking two meetings the day of your work’s holiday party. If you’re at the work holiday party and notice your energy dipping, try stepping outside for two minutes to do one of your energy revivers. For instance, perhaps you can go to your car and meditate for two minutes. People are much less likely to notice that you’re missing for a couple minutes, if they notice at all, than to notice that you’ve been scowling for the past hour, or worse, are having a mini-meltdown because you’ve burnt out completely.
37 experts weigh in on surviving holiday parties as an introvert.
Here’s a post I’ve written about 8 Tips for Navigating Social Engagements as an Introvert.
Not sure if you should go to your office’s holiday party? The Askamanager site has some advice on that. There’s also great advice in the comment section too.
Here’s a general article on office politics, and an article with general office advice.
Learn about your energy levels.
The best way to learn about your energy limits is to track it. Create a spreadsheet. In separate columns note the current time, the activity you just completed, and your mental energy level (on a scale of one to ten). Set a timer to go off once an hour to remind you to make note of your activities and energy. After a week, take a look at your tracker. Do you see any patterns? For instance, maybe you’ll notice that you can do two meetings in one day without any changes to your energy level, but on days with three meetings your mental energy level typically tanks and stays down for the next two days. Or perhaps you’ll find a meeting with a certain person will deplete all of your energy.
For those of you who don’t have the time or inclination to track your energy, you could keep an energy journal. At the end of each day, note how tired you feel and what kind of activities you took part in during that day. Do you remember your energy level changing at a certain point during the day? If so, what were you doing when that energy level changed?
Avoid just trying to keep track of your energy levels in your head. I agree with David Allen that “Your brain is for having ideas, not holding them.”
How do you deal with feeling overwhelmed? Here’s an article for Highly Sensitive People, but us introverts can use most of the tips.
Understand how to raise your energy.
Does eating lunch away from your desk change how you feel for the rest of the day? What about taking two minutes to meditate at 3 pm? Are there certain activities, like channel surfing, that are mind-numbing and do nothing to change your energy levels, while there are other mind-nourishing things, like sketching, that leave you feeling happy and with more energy?
Here’s a simple 3-step process for learning how to revive your energy.
Resilience.
I suggest reading some of Brené Brown’s books.
A Lifehacker article on coping with holidays alone.
If you learned to walk, you were born with resiliency hardwired in you.
Self esteem, and the knowledge that you are enough. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.
I’ll be adding more resources and tips soon. If you have any resources you think would be helpful to your fellow introverts, feel free to use the contact page and let me know.
