You’ve probably heard the expression “walk in like you own the place,” or some variation like it. I like to interpret it not as “walk in like you can boss everyone around,” but “walk in like you have every right to be there.” Although the phrase is usually used to describe a feeling of confidence when walking into a physical space, we can also use it to describe feeling confident about our lives.

Do you walk into your life like you own the place, like it’s yours and you have every right to be there? Or do you walk into your life like you rent the place, like you can’t hang up pictures on the walls for fear of losing your deposit?

Good friends and family don’t keep running tabs on your metaphorical rental deposit, and whether you conform to their ideal person and ideal personality. But the truth is that we most likely have some crappy friends or family in our lives, people who see it as their job to put people down. It can hurt to have friends and family who don’t understand you. They don’t understand the way you see yourself, and don’t understand the way you want to be seen. But there’s a huge difference between good friends who don’t understand but still care, and crappy friends who don’t understand but judge. And it’s much easier to tell the difference between these two kinds of people, and not let the crappy “friends” get you down, when you own your life and your decisions and your actions.

There’s a difference between well-meaning advice and ill-meaning advice. A difference between not caring what crappy people think and not caring what anyone thinks. A difference between knowing that you are in control of your responses and knowing you’re not in control of other people’s actions.

Walk in like you own your life, even if you have to take baby steps to get there.