Guest post by Marcia Yudkin

Some years ago, I was stranded at National Airport in Washington, DC. While I was up on a balcony, chatting on the phone to my mother, I saw Teddy Kennedy stride by below, on the way to a flight.

“Go talk to him,” urged my mother.

“Come on, Mom,” I retorted. “What would I say? What’s the point? And why should I bother him?”

This anecdote was the opener for a speech I recently gave on the topic of “Marketing for Introverts,” and as I practiced the talk over and over again, the core significance in my introvert question, “Why should I bother him?” sank in deeper and deeper.

In the surveys and interviews I’ve conducted in the last five years with introverts about a range of business issues, the reluctance to bother people and be bothered by others comes up a fair amount. For example, it explains the #1 most hated method of marketing for introverts: cold calls.

Telephone calls that come out of the blue throw introverts off our stride. We also don’t respond well to pushiness, whether it’s from an unusually inquisitive stranger or a salesperson with a hard-sell pitch. And it’s highly natural for us not to want to do to others what we don’t like done to us.

Introverts value privacy, autonomy and self-possession. We prefer to make decisions on our own timeline and for our own reasons, not from the instigation or pressure of others. We’d rather leave others alone because we prefer being left to our own devices, ourselves.

Many marketing experts, though, preach that if we’re to be successful as entrepreneurs, we need to put ourselves out there and sell our offerings aggressively. “Get over yourself!” they urge. “Ya gotta bother folks! That’s the only path to riches.”

Others with a bit more sensitivity put a creative reframe on marketing. They explain that marketing does not really amount to bothering others. Instead, it consists of letting people know how you can help them. Whether via cold calls or ads or networking or sending out postcards, when you’re marketing you’re giving people an opportunity to acquire a valued benefit or to have a problem solved. You’re putting something in front of them that’s in their best interest – or at least potentially so.

I used to recommend that reframing.

But the way I look at it now is that “I don’t want to bother people” is not a wrong concept that needs correcting. Rather, let’s respect that feeling. From what I can observe, “Leave me alone” and “Let others be” are hard-wired into introverts. Although we can change behavior, feelings rooted in our basic personality don’t yield to persuasion.

Introverts in business don’t have to stress ourselves or go against our values by getting pushy with others. A powerful marketing alternative for introverts relies on “pull” rather than “push” energy. There’s no chasing or pressure involved. With what’s known as inbound marketing, you set the stage for people to approach you to buy what you’re selling or to become your client. They choose.

For many years, my prime way to acquire clients was teaching three-hour adult education seminars in my area of expertise. More often than not, at five minutes before seven, as I stood at the front of the classroom, someone would rise from the audience and approach me, asking, “Can I hire you?” I didn’t even open my mouth yet!

Online inbound marketing has a similar dynamic. You set out content permeated with knowledge and attitude, and people who connect with it email or call, asking “Can I hire you?” They often do this without finding and reading the website or blog’s Services page.

I have stacks of case studies attesting to the effectiveness of this strategy. Positioning oneself as an expert suits introverts to a “T.” And it involves no bothering of others whatsoever.

Introverts don’t have to do what comes naturally to extroverts in order to succeed. Consider these contrasts with the approach that says you must learn to make your peace with bothering people:

Instead of pursuing people, extend an invitation.

Instead of being “in your face,” be subtle.

Instead of asking people, let them ask.

Instead of being overbearing, be welcoming.

Instead of pressuring people to decide now, let them act when the timing is right for them.

Instead of running roughshod over others, you’re respectful.

Introverts’ reward: Marketing no longer feels like an icky proposition. “Live and let live” allows us to relax and do our best. No personality transplant or attitudinal makeover is needed.

About Marcia Yudkin
Marketing expert and author Marcia Yudkin is a fierce advocate for introverts, showing them how to claim their talents and strengths in business while rejecting the culture’s emphasis on hype, manipulation and ego. She is the author of 6 Steps to Free Publicity, Persuading People to Buy and numerous other books, as well as the ebook, audiobook and online course “Marketing for Introverts.”

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/marciayudkin
Website: http://www.yudkin.com
Twitter: @marciasmantras