As I explained in a previous blog post, there are several definitions of “an introvert.” I think of an introvert as someone who gains energy by being alone. On the other hand, Jungian analysts (named after Carl Jung) would probably describe an introvert as someone who is drawn to their inner world. Still others reference Eysenck’s research and say that an introvert is more sensitive to stimulation.
None of those definitions include the word shy. Susan Cain, in her extremely popular book Quiet, explains the difference in this way: “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.”
There are plenty of shy extroverts, including Barbra Streisand and David Letterman, both of whom are able to appear calm and social by working in a controlled environment. On the other hand there are also plenty of non-shy introverts. Cain she uses Bill Gates as an example of a non-shy introvert, saying he “keeps to herself but is unfazed by the opinion of others.”
Though it’s not too hard to see why introvert and shy are so often used as synonyms. In a social situation both people may be quiet, but they do so for different reasons. A shy person may be quiet because they are anxious or afraid they will say the wrong thing and be judged. A non-shy introvert on the other hand may be keeping quiet because they are simply overstimulated. An introvert’s brain may be too busy taking in information to formulate an opinion. A shy extrovert may wish they were out partying on a Friday night, while an introvert may be content to spend their tenth Friday night home in a row, watching old episodes of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” on Netflix.
Whether you’re shy or an introvert there’s no need to feel like you’re weird or different – one survey estimates that shy people make up 48% of the population, while it’s estimated that 50.7 percent of the US population is an introvert! So no, you’re not weird, but I think it’s detrimental to both shy people and to introverts for the two characteristics to be used interchangeably.
Not sure if you are shy? Here’s a short quiz:
http://academics.wellesley.edu/Psychology/Cheek/howshy.html
Further Reading:
The Cost of Shyness
Shyness: The New Solution
Shyness is Nice
Lots of information here
**Disclaimer: The link to Quiet is an Amazon affiliate link.
Image by pezz.
