It can be hard to know when to step out of your comfort zone. On the one hand, most of us introverts naturally gravitate towards the safeness of our comfort zone. The comfort zone is literally a comforting place to be. On the other hand, so many people seem to say that magic and growth all happen outside the comfort zone. Magic and growth sounds nice. And then of course there are the people trying to push you (sometimes literally, I have a story about that but I’ll save it for another blog post) out of your comfort zone, presumably with the best intentions.

So, how do you choose whether to stay in the comfort zone or step out of it? There’s two things to consider when trying to decide whether to do something that scares you.

Is it important to you?
What’s important to me is spreading the message that there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert, and speaking in front of a group of people is a great way to, well, reach more than one person. Although it scares me, doing public speaking is important to what I want for myself. On the other hand, sky diving is also something that scares me but there is no way I’m going to be jumping out of a plane. It doesn’t further my goals, and I don’t see how I would be a better person after jumping off a plane and hurtling towards the earth.

Sometimes what’s important to us changes. Five years ago, before Introvertology, I wouldn’t have done public speaking. But, around five years ago I was going to a few craft circles and craft classes a month, something I’m not doing right now. My natural inclination is to stay home but I was living in another country and felt isolated. Having the feeling of a sense of community was more important than not leaving the house.

Are you doing it out of love for yourself, or out of shame?
The rest of my family are more adventurous than I am, and sometimes that leads to shaming. When I refused to go white water rafting I was told I needed to get out of my comfort zone more. The shaming didn’t work on me. I had lived in another country for four years, I was fully capable of stepping out of my comfort zone if I wanted to. If I were to say Yes to white water rafting I wouldn’t be doing it out of the love for myself. I wouldn’t be doing it out of a love for my family (they were going to go whether I went or not). I would be doing it out of shame and to conform myself to someone else’s comfort zone and someone else’s idea of what’s important.

I’m not saying don’t listen to other people when trying to decide whether to step out of your comfort zone, sometimes we need that outside perspective and push. But get to know what’s important to you, and use your love for yourself and your goals to guide you.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Feel free to comment below.