Quiet & thriving.
Helping introverts connect to their fierceness & their stillness.

 

The Road of Life – free PDF

Most people are gung-ho about improving certain aspects of their life. Maybe they derive pleasure from making sure their finances are in order, or maybe they concentrate on developing healthy relationships. And some people treat their body as their only temple.

And while it feels good to get a perfect ten in one aspect of life, if we ignore all the other aspects our life can start to feel uneven.

I had a big aha moment when I started looking at my life as a whole. I had been focusing on improving certain aspects of my life, like education, while ignoring other parts, like physical health. With my Road of Life PDF you get a visual representation of where you’ve putting your energy… and where you haven’t.

How to use The Road of Life
On the bottom of the sheet is 10 categories. These represent certain aspects of your life. The last slot on the right is left empty for anything you think I’ve left out.

On the left-hand side of the sheet are ten numbers. For each aspect of your life, plot along the dotted line the level of your satisfaction. After you’ve plotted your level of satisfaction with each area of your life, connect the dots. How bumpy is your life?

Walk in like you own your life

You’ve probably heard the expression “walk in like you own the place,” or some variation like it. I like to interpret it not as “walk in like you can boss everyone around,” but “walk in like you have every right to be there.” Although the phrase is usually used to describe a feeling of confidence when walking into a physical space, we can also use it to describe feeling confident about our lives.

Do you walk into your life like you own the place, like it’s yours and you have every right to be there? Or do you walk into your life like you rent the place, like you can’t hang up pictures on the walls for fear of losing your deposit?

Good friends and family don’t keep running tabs on your metaphorical rental deposit, and whether you conform to their ideal person and ideal personality. But the truth is that we most likely have some crappy friends or family in our lives, people who see it as their job to put people down. It can hurt to have friends and family who don’t understand you. They don’t understand the way you see yourself, and don’t understand the way you want to be seen. But there’s a huge difference between good friends who don’t understand but still care, and crappy friends who don’t understand but judge. And it’s much easier to tell the difference between these two kinds of people, and not let the crappy “friends” get you down, when you own your life and your decisions and your actions.

There’s a difference between well-meaning advice and ill-meaning advice. A difference between not caring what crappy people think and not caring what anyone thinks. A difference between knowing that you are in control of your responses and knowing you’re not in control of other people’s actions.

Walk in like you own your life, even if you have to take baby steps to get there.

Do you have shiny new object syndrome?

decision-workflow-diagram

Oh look! A new idea! Something different than what I’m currently doing! I certainly have shiny object syndrome, a propensity to want to do something other than what I’m currently doing.

But for the past 6 months I’ve been doing pretty good in terms on concentrating on life coaching and Introvertology, and I owe a lot of it to my decision workflow diagram. Occasionally someone will ask me to do a gig related to a previous career, and I’ve been able to turn them down with only fleeting regrets.

Decision workflow diagrams aren’t just helpful in terms of career decisions, they can also help with getting enough downtime, whether to accept social invitations, etc. If there’s a certain kind of decision that you struggle with or that keeps you up at night I highly suggest you create a workflow diagram to make your decision as easy as possible. You can download a blank copy of my diagram shown above in Pages form, or in Word form (I don’t have Word, so apologies if the formatting is messed up). My version of the diagram has a lot of “Maybe” and “Use intuition,” but yours can be clear cut, like this one.

The guilt of waiting

There are some emails I don’t open right away, some voicemail messages I ignore for a few hours, and some texts I don’t rush to read. This doesn’t mean I don’t get back to people or that I ignore most communication, I promptly read and respond to the vast majority of emails and texts. But, there are some texts, etc., which I won’t look at until I’m ready because I’m afraid the contents will disrupt the rhythm of my day. I’m guessing I’m not alone in this. I’m also guessing I’m not alone in feeling a little pang of guilt when I do this.

We live in an age that’s increasingly instant – instant car quotes, streaming movies (we don’t have to wait for movies to download!), breaking news on Twitter that’s so instant it hasn’t yet been fact-checked. So when I postpone responding, I sometimes feel like I’m not holding up my end of the bargain, like I’m breaking a rule. And then I remember that the person contacting me does not own my time, and cannot dictate my pace. The pace of my life is mine alone, built up from my choices and priorities. The pace of your life is yours as well.

Introversion 101, the webinar.

Sorry you missed the webinar! But if you sign up for my newsletter (the form is on the right) you’ll be one of the first to know about my next webinar!

Join me for a 30-minute live webinar (my first!) on Saturday, May 30th, at 11 a.m. Pacific, 2 p.m. Eastern. Registration below.

Ever wondered where the concept of introversion and extroversion came from? Although Carl Jung popularized the word introvert (in the psychological sense) in the early 1920s, humans have been writing about personality for thousands of years.

What did people believe about personality before the 1920s? How would your personality have been described in, say, ancient Greece? And has the concept of introversion and temperament changed since Carl Jung’s time?

In this webinar I’ll be sharing with you a short history of personality. We’ll begin our exploration with Ayurveda, a ~5,000-year-old system of medicine that originated in India, and end with the currently held theory of personality referred to as the Big Five.

I hope this webinar helps you see your introversion and personality in a new light.

Sorry you missed it! But if you sign up for my newsletter (the form is on the right) you’ll be one of the first to know about my next webinar!

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