Guest post by Tessa Armstrong.
It wasn’t too long ago that I thought that there was something wrong with me. Why did I sleep so much? Why did it feel like I was taking on all the energy of the world? Why did I feel so intensely about the poverty and sadness of the world?
I knew I was an introvert, but until I learned about the Highly Sensitive Person I didn’t really understand my inner world (by highly sensitive I am referring to the Highly Sensitive Person first researched by Dr. Elaine Aron).
Someone who is highly sensitive takes in and processes information at a much deeper level than the rest of the world (about 20% of the population are highly sensitive). This can lead to overwhelm, anxiety and our energy being zapped.
For example, if you are at a party and are an introvert but not highly sensitive, you may find your energy lowers after many hours and then you need to go home. For someone who is highly sensitive and an introvert they may need to go home within half an hour to an hour of arriving because they are experiencing a deeper level of sensory input.
So even if you are with someone who is introverted, if they are not highly sensitive, then you may feel you are still out of place.
If you are an introverted highly sensitive person here are a few tips for you.
Take More Breaks.
Introverts who are highly sensitive may need more breaks. With so much sensory input around you, it may feel like everything is coming at you at once. Take some mini breaks throughout your day. Get up and walk around for a minute if you don’t have much time. And if you can’t go anywhere, try deep breathing to ground yourself.
Allow Some “Me” Time.
It’s easy to ignore our needs and focus on what other people need. When planning your day/week make sure to put in a few minutes of time just for you. It can be as simple as taking a hot shower or drinking a nice cup of tea, or it could be an hour massage once a week/month. Taking some time for yourself could also mean getting some new makeup every so often or nail polish and taking the time to put it on. If your battery isn’t re-charged you could find yourself stressed out and frustrated.
Get Lots Of Sleep.
So often we hear of people going to bed late and then getting up at the crack of dawn. As an introverted highly sensitive person you need the rest. Because we take in so much information we need our bodies to process everything and we do that best when sleeping. If they say one needs 7-9 hours of sleep, we should probably get closer to 9 hours.
I would love to know what you do to recharge your batteries!
Tessa Armstrong is an introverted highly sensitive person, and INFP personality type who has always felt like there was something wrong with her. She felt out of place, awkward in social situations and was formerly shy. Now she knows that people who are introverted and highly sensitive have an amazing gift and are able to lead peaceful and happy lives. She wants other introverted highly sensitive people to know that they do fit in, that they are amazingly beautiful, and that they can feel comfortable in their own skin. She is the founder and CEO of CoachTessa. She invited you to connect over at www.facebook.com/groups/hspcommunity.
I feel the same way! It took me a long time to realize I was a hip innie. That I wasn’t going to change overnight and be an outgoing, high energy extrovert like the rest of my family. Now I am living a small quiet life surrounded by sweet gentle souls. Taking the highs and lows day by day.
I’m glad to hear that Betsy! A quiet life surrounded by gentle souls sounds perfect to me.
It’s so important to take things day by day!
Awesome post and tips – thanks! I’m both highly introverted and an HSP and am very aware of taking super-special care of my energy. When I see clients, I can only do 2-3 sessions per day. I used to teach EFT 3-day courses but they wiped me out completely for 2 weeks afterwards. I’ve learned to adjust what I take on. I only found out how introverted and sensitive I am a few years ago – it’s been a long journey of thinking ‘What’s wrong with me?” and it’s so refreshing to connect with others who are similar!
Thanks for your comment Liesel. Understanding ourselves and honoring ourselves makes a huge difference, doesn’t it?
Thanks for sharing with us all! And it is important to realize that there is nothing wrong with us.
I feel like I’m off to a really good start, in that I understand this about myself in my mid-twenties. It’s difficult though, to explain it to those who are not HSP. Extroverts can wrap their brain around the idea of being introverted, but people really resist the idea of being highly sensitive. I’ve heard everything from “you just need to get over it” to “you’re self-indulgent”. It’s a hard sell.
Interesting, I’ve found that in the past many extroverts can’t wrap their heads around introversion (in addition to HSP), but perhaps this is a sign that times are changing! It is sad that we need to “sell” our differences, and that people don’t readily realize how varied the human race is.
It can feel like a struggle at times. I let people know that our brain processes things differently. So, for example, if you see a light someone will process it in 10 ways where as an HSP may process it in 50 ways so we have more info that comes through us. (And I tell my husband it is my superpower!). 😉
I actually wrote a song about it:
Hypersensitive
By Michael Harrison Fox
I went to a party just the other day
Went straight to a corner where I could stay
Away from the people and the booming sound
Don’t think of me as strange, I’m just (beat) hypersensitive
Keep away the flashing lights and roaring crowd
They make my body shiver when it gets really loud
I want to cover ears and eyes and slink away
I’m not an animal, I’m just (beat) hypersensitive
(rapid rap)
Now listen to my story and you will see
That a person like me isn’t easy
To get to know because I shun the crowd
And listening to smalltalk makes me shout out loud
‘Get outta my face and please shut up’
But it seems that I am out of luck
‘Cause the voice I make is never heard
Over voices and sirens and I get nerved
By the lights and sounds of everyday life
And what’s normal to you, to me is strife
And makes me want to shut it all out
Crawl back into bed and let out a shout
‘Leave me alone!’
(normal)
I’m not a bad person but it’s hard to see
If the slightest sound and light make me act crazy
Don’t take it as an insult, just me being me
Just move away slowly ‘cause I’m (beat) hypersensitive
That’s great Michael! If you end up recording it, let me know and I’ll try to post a link to the recording on my social media accounts.
This is amazing – well done!! Please do let us know if you record it.
This is so true! I am an introvert and have always been super sensitive to how others are feeling. All that emotion coming at me is exhausting! And then there are the thoughts: did I do something to make them feel that way? are they upset with me? what can I do to help? can I make them feel better?
I have those thoughts too, Cheryl. I’ve found it’s often better to just ask people if it’s something I’ve done, or if there’s something I can do.
I have similar thoughts at times. Remember that you are doing your best each day and how people respond is up to them. And, I also agree, if you can get to a place of asking them you’ll see that things will calm down inside. 😉
HSP introverts are so valuable. It’s such a shame that they are not valued in our society. Schools and corporations only see success in extroverted competition and goals. HSP introverts bring peace, love and harmony to the world. A warrior needs his trusted insightful advisor. I wish that schools and corporations recognised these essential skills. I love to read, sit in my garden and do courses. I love peace and quiet. I love to think. I love being a HSP introvert. 🙂
I’m glad you love being an HSP introvert! And I love this insight: A warrior needs his trusted insightful advisor.
It’s great to hear that you like being an HSP. We have so many gifts to offer ourselves and the world but a lot of people cannot see them yet. I am hoping that as more people are aware of who an HSP is they will start to change in time. For now, try to voice your needs in the workplace as best as possible. You’d be surprised how many places will listen!
As a kindred spirit and introvert I’d like to say hello and thank you for bringing awareness to us and our needs. For me, it’s been a matter of taking control of what I expose myself to and for how long. Negative people are poison and must be avoided. They will absorb your energy and depress you. I have gathered pics over time of scenes that stir my emotions in positive ways. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I will “visit” those pics and soon find myself relaxing. Also have found that most of us suffer from magnesium deficiency. There’s a drink called Calm that has it in it and is very soothing. I drink mine on ice with a bit of sweetener for a refreshing break. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel after a glass of it. These are things that have helped me I wanted to share with you.
Thank you so much for sharing Robin! I haven’t heard of the drink Calm but I’ll have to look it up. I love that you have those soothing pictures that you can look at when you feel the need to unwind or recharge, such a great tool to have with you. 🙂
Great tips! As someone who was always quiet and shy, it has been a revelation to discover introversion theory. Now I view my introversion as a two-sided aspect of my inner being, with the need to be alone A LOT balanced by a strong artistic urge. I find that making opportunities to be creative is an important component of my “me time.” Things like gardening, beading, sewing, or even just doing art with my children help me to focus on only that one thing and shut out the input overload that is normally going on in my brain. So although I am doing something, it is actually very restful and restorative for me to practice creativity. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing! It’s great that you’ve found your creative side is helpful to you. I love to create my own cards for people and I have always loved colouring. And what a lovely way to interact with your children by being creative together. 🙂
Thank you for your article, this is me to a tee. I sleep 9 hours a night, always have. My eyes start to glaze over when I’ve had enough “people simulation”. I work full time in a large city, on the weekends, I stay home as much a possible, run a fan for white noise, read and snuggle with my four cats, or if feeling very bold, play classical music and get on the internet. I dream of a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere.
The cabin in the wood sounds magical! It’s great that you can recognize that you need your down time and that you take it for yourself. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
I’m glad you mentioned sleep. I feel better equipped to handle the extrovert world when I’ve gotten a good night’s rest.
I’m glad you found it helpful! 🙂
Thanks for this. I’ve known that I am an introvert for many years. INFJ here. I also realized I’m HSP since reading Elaine Aron’s book some years back, but somehow it hadn’t occurred to me that not all introverts are HSP, which suddenly makes who I am that much clearer.
Growing up in the 50’s, before any of this was common knowledge and the prevailing attitude toward emotional differences was “Buck up and get on with it just like everybody else, Princess!” it has literally taken me a lifetime to come to terms with the fact that I am not “just like everybody else”, and I have just been offered one more layer of self acceptance.
Elsa, how amazing!! I’m so glad that this has brought you ‘one more layer of self-acceptance’ as it is so important to us Introverted HSP’s. I have goosebumps just reading your post. I’m sorry that you went through a time where you were being pushed out of who you are and into a mould that people try to cram us into (Even if it’s because they just didn’t know any different). Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Now I know why I seem to need more sleep than other people. I thought that maybe I had something medically wrong, now I know it is normal for me. Thanks!
I’m glad that this has helped you. 🙂
Righ on!
🙂
Thanks for this article. It is so necessary and important for those of us who are both Introverted and HSP to let go of the shame that we may sometimes feel when comparing ourselves to people that are not like us. We may come off as aloof, unapproachable or even arrogant. We crave and desire connection, love and community just like anyone would. We just seek this out differently then the “norm”. The more confident we can be in who we are and how we can contribute to our world, the better we’ll be.
I entirely agree Lisa. One of the things that all humans have in common is that we’re each unique. The world would benefit from us coming from a place of confidence in our uniqueness.
Thanks for bringing this point up. It is important to let go of any shame we hold for being introverted and/or an HSP. We are who we are and until we can accept that we will stay in suffering. And like you mentioned we have so many wonderful qualities. 🙂
I keep my world pleasantly small. I follow a regular routine each day: I nap, walk with my dog, and do Tai Chi with my Mom. To really unwind, I watch tornado chase videos and color in my mandala coloring book.
I’ve done some Tai Chi too, it’s relaxing.